As I was staring at my choices in the dressing room today for a post-baby-body-loving swimsuit, I was dealing with the notion of radical body acceptance. Immediately, I thought about this upcoming beach vacation and being photographed in a swimsuit and A LOT of anxiety bubbled up. I think I may have been thinking about this more than all of the incredible images I plan to take while we are there.
Like most photographers I know, I don’t especially love being in front of the camera and that displeasure is compounded by the idea of being in anything less than a turtleneck and long pants.
As I tried on and poo-pooed the fifth swimsuit, I realized that what I was dealing with here was less about the choice of garment and more about the choice of being seen. And I mean, really seen. So, here’s a little deal I made with myself. I would purchase the swimsuit that I felt the most comfortable in, disregarding the notion that it had to be cheap because I wasn’t in the body I was striving for and thus needed to earn (yuck, I’ve abandoned that nonsense) and I would take or have taken some images of myself in plain site in my suit. There will be no hiding in the water, or behind layers upon layers of clothes, or strategically positioned to distort my proportions, or edited during or in post. They are just going to be what they are. And I’ll share them here in a few weeks when I get back.
I mean, sheesh, if I strive to catch you in vulnerable moments, shouldn’t I be caught there too?